Dealing with Narcissistic Parents

I commenced my policy of non-contact / NC and it's been the most peaceful five years I've ever had. Here is my advice based on my own experience:

1. If you still live with them, move ASAP with the shirt on your back.

2. All communications with them shall be written via email, and don't tell them where you live, where you work, your bank balance, who you're dating, etc. Every piece of information will be used against you.

3. Get some therapy and start your recovery process.

Here's some things I would go back in time and tell my younger self:

    You're never going to change them.

    You are not responsible for their mental health or emotional state.

    Don't bother trying to reason with them, they are irrational.

    Don't try to earn their respect, you never will. 

    Don't agree to their assessment of your capabilities.

    Don't tell them how much money you make.
    Don't tell them how much money you have.
    Don't tell them where you work.

    You will not get them to be accountable for their actions, 
    it's useless to try.

They will act out and seek retribution when you start changing your life without their knowledge/consent/blessing/judgement. They will sabotage your best efforts if you let them into your life. Don't tell them ANYTHING. Keep it light if you must speak with them.

Don't wish them happy birthday, don't have dinner with them, don't show, call or send a card for any holiday, christmas, hanukkah, thanksgiving. Don't do it. It's a trap.

Remove the emotion from it. It's not out of spite, anger or vengeance -- it's for your health. You are not a petty person, this was in the works for a long time. It's like going for a jog in the morning. It's what you need to do to stay mentally, emotionally fit in your life.

Don't blame yourself, this is a logical consequence of your nparents actions. People around you might not understand and that's okay. The time to leave and break contact is right now.

Retake agency in your life.

Good luck everyone!

> And I think it is a coward's pursuit Strong words forgotmypw. Clearly, you don't have any experience with a narcissist because, no amount of hand-wringing and kumbaya is going to fix it. I was the good son. I did that for two decades, it didn't help. My experience is that there is absolutely no hope for narcissistic parents. Get away; Adopt a policy of non-contact; and Don't look back. Just remember that when you pontificate (and name-call) about something like this: not all of us were blessed with rational, stable, straight-edge people for parents.

I stopped using a smart phone a year ago. I don't miss it. That helped. Steps 1. Remember your password. 2. Log in, download, compress and archive your media and posts. 3. Delete your account. Bear in mind, there's no such thing as 'completely delete' there are multiple copies stored by the various walled-gardens, and of course by our government in a gigantic datacenter in Utah. But at least you won't be as much of a commodity.

I have a few predictions: He will twitter-cancel the presidential debate; He will slide the fear fader up on the population in hopes of diminishing the polls; He will be "cured" reinforcing the image that he has strong genes and was a good choice for his base.

Thank you. Trump is a narcissist no doubt, but I thought the most illuminating moment of the debate was when he told a white-supremacist group to "Stand back and stand-by."

This is a lie. Read the transcript.

Not if you Incentivize The Technology that will slow or stop it.

Consensus on a carbon tax that is consistent with the marginal cost of abatement and staying below 2C is $50 or so per tonne by the late 2020s and up to $180 by 2050 to get all the way to net zero. The idea is that you set a tax that goes up predictably so that you incentivise capital decisions leading to emissions reductions over the life of the capital asset.

That might seem like a lot but based on US average consumption based emissions (production based emissions taxation is for chumps) that's $850 annually by the late 2020s. Of course, all or most of that can be returned to people through other tax reductions. I can't be the only one who looks at that number and thinks, "Is that fucking it? Jesus, just do it then."

Correct.

Don't listen to the doomsayers that just talk and don't propose any practical solutions.

At least there are those who are developing the tools, technologies and policies that will slow it down or make a significant impact in stopping it.

Well, it is pretty doom and gloom if you look at the numbers for the Arctic region and realize that we are on the trail that was considered the worst case scenario. Climate Change (at that time natural, less abrupt) contributed to the end of the Roman Empire, and while few of mankind may survive, billions are unlikely to.

Not changing behaviors and just hoping for magical, unproven technology is plain stupid in my view. We are going to need that investment in technology, but it‘s not the magic solution. Many ecosystems aren’t even fully understood, so we can’t really tell what will result of their imminent collapse.

IMHO hydrogen cars is the future. It gives the storage medium that is needed for wind turbines (and solar) to become ecologically positive. It gives a smoother transition path for fossil energy.

If only cars were the sole problem.

Time to slide up the old fear fader to scare the public into staying at home on election day, and oh, he doesn't have to fall on his face again during a debate -- text message cancellation.

Well said. Seems to me that he's going to set a precedent that will screw over workers' attempts to even file a claim by muddying the water.

I would include the "Gulag Archipelago" Trilogy by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn in any library.

https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/solzhenitsyns-th...